Marriage is without any doubt one of the biggest life changing decisions that you will ever make or come across and that’s why the pre wedding jitters are considered quite a normal phenomenon or experience which both the brides and the grooms have to go through. But here’s the basic problem- how do you tell when your sixth sense is actually warning you for the right reason about the impending doom and when the butterflies in your stomach are nothing that you should get yourself even stressed out about?
Deviating from the archaic norms as advised by our grandparents and keeping the changing trends of marriage in mind, marriage counsellors are actually there to advise brides and grooms to take some time out for themselves and to rationalise exactly what is making them dread the very special wedding day.
Thinking about all those issues that may concern you but which may not have been adequately addressed openly and which when opened could bring in a certain amount of clarity and help you make and decide what to do next. Let’s take a look at some of such pre wedding jitters or concerns:
1. The Constant Fights Amid the Couple
The fairy tales tell us that our Prince Charming will be the tailor made to suit our every need but in reality, it is a very different picture altogether. While many women think that an ideal life partner should be one whose every interest undoubtedly matches with theirs, counsellors don’t really hold the same point of view. Beautiful marriages have been built by couples who have a completely different array of likes and interests.
However, if you find that the two of you can’t even meet at a halfway with regard to making the smaller decisions before the marriage, then you shouldn’t be under the illusion that marriage itself will be the reason to solve everything. In all likelihood, you will definitely end up marrying the very wrong person!
2. The Risk of Getting Hereditary Diseases
When asking a guy to take an AIDS test before marriage was once considered as a major taboo but the same is not there anymore. You have every right to know if the guy you are willing to marry is at risk of getting a lifestyle disease. Likewise, your partner too has the right to know if there are any diseases running in your family which he may not be aware of.
We suggest that the best way to tackle with this pre wedding jitter is to talk about your concern in a private manner with your partner and then go for a full medical check-up together before the wedding. After you say your vows, you don’t need to feel like you both had hidden anything from each other.
3. The Liking of Each Others Family Issues
You need to ask yourself this question that what exactly is it about his family that you really don’t like? Is it that they haven’t really taken to you, or that they don’t really gel with your own parents or that you just don’t know them well enough? Not getting along with one’s in-laws is the standard and one of the most common pre wedding jitters for any bride to be at!
However, we suggest that you should consider taking time understanding each member of his family individually and for doing so one of the best ways is to build up a bond which is to find a hobby or class or an activity or even go out for a movie together. In spite of all your efforts, if you still feel that there is an untouched vacuum, rethinking the marriage may be the best option in such circumstance.
We would like to recommend that though everyone has pre-wedding jitters but we should not let them take charge of your decisions beyond limits. We should definitely consider them but once all the doubts are cleared, we should not try to dig in so deep that it ends up spoiling the relationship between the couple.
Do share your thoughts on it and what's your way of overcoming it?