We all have grown up hearing things like marriage is sacred, it’s something that changes our life, it’s something that makes us complete and a whole lot of other such things. The movies we grew up watching showcased the husband as Parmeshwar (God), the earner, and the lady as an underdog. It has consciously or unconsciously shaped what we think of marriage as grownups and unfortunately, a significant part of the generation in the contemporary world is scared of marriage just because of this ‘notion’ of marriage we have grown up with. All the time you ask people (in all good sense) if they want to get married, you get to hear ‘I don’t want to give up on this so soon’, ‘Aren’t you happy that I am living my life?’, and plenty of other things like that.
Perception Towards Marriage
Why do we have this conception of marriage at all? If we have an issue with any aspect of the union, aren’t we the only people responsible for bringing a change? Marriage is beautiful only if you look at it without all the judgments people have against it and the typical ideologies that are being carried by it since times immemorial. Had it been a couple of years ago, I wouldn’t be writing this at all. I am not defending the motion just because I am happily married. But because I understand it from proximity and can bet that your marriage is entirely what you make out of it, not what others think about it or the society wants you to be.
Either you choose to crib about being married and no more this and that, or you build a home that defies the unacceptable facets of the primaeval married life. I weaved this blog around the concerns and issues people have against marriage and what they think of marriage in general. I am not in any sense guarding or attacking any particular group of people but my intention is to just try and bring out the essence we really miss out while judging the institution and the people getting into it.
She says, “Marriage is my Careers’ end.”
Now, “I want to get settled first” is totally fine but as soon as it changes to “Marriage is my Careers’ end”, we need to look into this. This is mostly with women because as per the ancient belief, the woman is supposed to stay at home and cook for her family. If someone chooses to, there’s nothing wrong with it. But if you don’t choose it, it’s entirely your decision. It’s not the ancient world you are living in where you will be forced to end your career as soon as you get the title of ‘Mrs.’ with your name.
Look at it the other way. Your partner can be a real support system when you feel there’s nothing going right. There are so many success stories where a husband and a wife together managed to build something remarkable and agreed that they couldn’t have done this without each other. It’s not like you can’t do anything on your own, but having a partner can be counted as a bonus.
Recommended Read: 15 Reasons For Getting Married In Your Early 20’s
He says,“Marriage is the end of my social life.”
Mostly for guys, but this phrase can’t be stereotyped, both the genders think it to be true. Men think a wife would be too nosey and won’t let them go out with their friends, no more ‘only guys’ hangout, etc. etc. etc. But how about having one more friend who barely says no to any of your ‘probably flop’ plans? If you look at your life partner as a best friend and not as a surveillance camera, maybe you will get it right. Adding her to your friend group will probably just increase the fun? And you get another group of friends (her friends) too. Another Bonus! (I am not biased, same goes for the women out there too!).
She says, “I don’t want to spend my life in the kitchen.”
On a very honest note, you don’t have to. If someone is marrying you for having his breakfast and dinner needs fulfilled, the person is wrong, not the institution. Don’t think of marriage like that. Though for some (including me and fortunately my husband) cooking is a hobby and something they willingly take interest in, some might not be comfortable with it. But it’s completely normal!
We don’t need to blame on the institution for what we think of marriage
We are now so scared of marriage that even if someone we know is getting married we humorously say "Dude, that's the end of your life", and we never realize when the humor became a societal norm and affected someone’s view on life post marriage. What really matters is who we are choosing as our life partner. We don’t need to blame on the institution for what we think of marriage, we just need to get someone who compliments our thoughts and can lend a hand in balancing our boat through the ocean of life. Filmy enough? Well, that’s how it is but it’s wonderful and it’s your own movie so you get to cast the right people, direct it to the story you want, and instead of “The End”, let it be “Happily ever after…”
Recommended Read: Right Time to Get Married: Society vs Us