Right Time to Get Married: Society vs Us – Wedamor
Living in a country like India, odds are that if you’re in your 20s, you’re constantly being pressured by your family and relatives (unless you’re one of the lucky few) to start your own life because they think it’s the ‘ right time to get married ‘.
But what does this ‘right time’ even mean? We’re living in a country where society is God. We can’t do without it, we’re afraid of it if we don’t follow the given ‘rules’ of it, and you are what the society thinks you are.
So, for a girl, the society thinks the right time to get married (here in India) should be anywhere between 21 to 24. That’s the ideal age. If you’re 26 and especially a girl, society is already talking about how there’s something wrong with you that you’re not married yet. You can probably picture a bunch of aunties in their fake ‘Loo-is Vee-ton’ with tacky and abominable taste in clothes gossiping over a pitcher of Roohafza. Aunties like that are useless like a penny with a hole in it and they want you to join that league.
Now, coming back to the point: Society’s ‘ right time to get married ’ can come kiss my ass as I lay out some arguments about how the right time is only when YOU think that it is.
1) Have You Achieved Your Dreams?
Have you? Your parents and relatives are probably telling you that once you get married, you can continue with whatever it is then. Don’t fall for it cos it’s a goddamn trap.
Also, I’m particularly talking about women here cos they’re the victims when it comes to such things. The guys have to work according to the rules of society, right? And the girls should probably soak themselves in household chores, take responsibility for the whole family and maybe for a little fun, she can watch some TV serials. Yes, for ‘fun’.
There are very few families who want their pyaari bahu to actually work hard and go for her dreams. Even if they won’t make you do the maid work, you have a lot of responsibilities coming your way which can make working for your dreams just overwhelming. Who’s to say you’ll even get time for it?
The point here is, if you’ve just started working and you’re not quite there in terms your career, do yourself a nice big favour and don’t think about getting married instead think about the ‘ right time to get married ‘. It’s a different thing if you’re well settled. If that’s the case, happy marrying!
2) Baby Baby Baby
Let’s say your Sasural wale guys are pretty wonderful and they are fully supporting your dreams and career (although I personally haven’t seen such people), maybe they’ll do that for a year, two years but then.. it all comes down to starting a family in the end. That’s what our parents live for. Indirectly they’ll have you know that now they want a grandbaby, please start trying now.
And life after a baby? Wonderful, yes. Beautiful, yes. Poop-filling, yes. Cuteness overload, yes yes yes. But career dreams for mommy? Nope.
This is not to say that it’ll be over 100% but you probably won’t be as focused then. And again, if you’re well-settled by then, then it’s no biggie! Happy baby-ing! (Sorry, I’m weird with such things)
Recommended Read: Things a Man Should Accomplish Before Getting Married
3) Kick the Society With its Taboos in the Bum
Hi, hello! Hear me out when I say: Do not let age become a factor. I repeat, do NOT let age become a factor!
30 and single is perfectly fine and is completely and one hundred percent your decision. It’s your life and you are the only one who has the power to decide when, how and to with whom you have to find the ‘ right time to get married ‘. If you’re focusing on growing yourself, succeeding in life and actually doing something incredible with your life, you go ahead and keep doing that. All my good thoughts and hugs coming your way! Oh and, if nobody told you already, you’re amazing for being so brave and taking a stand for yourself. So very proud of you!
But our mighty society is Regina George from Mean girls and is going to try making your life miserable with all the comments, taunts, and what-not. But you have to remember that it can only affect you if you let it. And please, don’t let it.
4) This isn’t About Being a Rebel
Doing something for yourself, while others are busy pressuring you to do the opposite thing is not something you need to doubt is right or not. And you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone even if it’s your family.
A marriage is beautiful in its own way, but when you’re not ready for it, it can turn into a lifelong regret. We’re humans. We need our freedom. We have all the rights to decide when we should get married. Don’t let others, even your parents take that right away from you.
There’s no such thing as wrong time or a right time to get married, it’s all about the ‘happy time’ to get married.
Dream a lot, and dream big. HAPPY SUCCESS-ING!
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About the Author: Vrinda Singh
